They’re everybody’s favourite couple from Doctor Who; Elton Pope and Ursula Blake from Love & Monsters, a man and his girlfriend who became a paving slab and still remained his girlfriend. They even have a bit of a love life. Whatever happened to these star-crossed lovers I hear you ask? Well I managed to actually interview both parties; with one interview being published today and the other interview being published tomorrow. I’m a gentleman so it’s naturally ladies first, so here it is; my exclusive interview with Ursula Blake.
Hello Ursula, how’re you?
I’m fine thank you… well I’m as good as a paving slab can be.
It’s been ten years since your exploit with the Doctor and since you met Elton; how has the past decade been?
To be honest, it’s not been the best ten years. I mean I’ve been a paving slab so you can’t really go out and socialise without turning a few heads; which is cruel in a way because I can’t turn mine. The people I care about have been very supportive and understanding though, and they’ve accepted that I’m not a massive fan of socialising, so they’ve not forced me to do anything I didn’t want to do.
How are you and Elton?
Well, once we’d met and started LINDA, I knew we just clicked, as you saw in the documentary, Love & Monsters. Once we’d defeated the Abzorbaloff and I was saved by the Doctor in a paving slab, I thought that mine and Elton’s relationship would be over, which left be heartbroken. Luckily for me though, I seem to have picked the right man and he stuck by me. Like he said at the end of Love & Monsters, we even had a bit of a love life, which was nice. Since then, our relationship has had its ups and downs, like any relationship really. He tried to propose with a ring but didn’t really think it through. I have no fingers, so the ring was totally redundant and just reminded me how torturous this life was, so I just burst into tears.
How did Elton take that?
Not too well really; in fact I’d say he took it as badly as possible. I mean, I know he’s had a tough life and he always said that I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He kind of went off of the rails then, stormed out and left me in our flat alone. Of course I relied on Elton for most things, and I was just sat there in tears, waiting for him to calm down and come back.
When did he come back?
I lost track really, it was about three or four days I think. I’m pretty sure he stopped at his cousins in Stratford, but we try and not talk about it too much. It was a dark time for both of us.
Since everyone in LINDA had to go their separate ways, do you still try and keep up to date with the Doctor?
Not really; I mean when there’s an alien invasion, me and Elton guess that it’s him who miraculously saves humanity from certain disaster. We found a blog too from a bloke called Clive, but he hasn’t updated it since 2005, which is a shame. It would be nice to have another network of Doctor-lovers again. Not run by an Abzorbaloff though.
I know you’re a fan of the Doctor, so I have to ask you, if you could have one trip in the TARDIS, where would you go and why?
That’s a great question that Elton has never asked me. I dunno really… I suppose I’d like to go back in time to my mum and dad’s wedding. I’ve always wanted to see my Dad look dapper and my mum look beautiful; photographs don’t really do it justice y’know? Either there or if I could go into the future I’d like to find out if there’s ever going to be any surgery that can give me a proper body again. Being able to walk would be nice, and being able to hold Elton’s hand.
Last question, if the Doctor reads this, is there anything you would like to say to him?
Thank you for giving me another shot at life, even if it is in unusual circumstances. He had no obligation and he helped the best he could.